Just Make Me Beautiful!

Dear Cosmetics and Hair Care Manufacturers,

Please stop lying to me. I'm sick of it. I'm specifically tired of the following fibs:

• "100% gray coverage"
  That's just crap and you know it. Oh, sure. If you have ONE gray hair, I'm sure it covers it just fine. Now I don't have a TON of gray, but I have enough to know they are there and enough to see that they aren't all covered after I dye my hair. And for the record, I did dyed my hair exactly how I was supposed to.
• "eliminate dark circle"
  More poppy cock. Really? Does that mean you get up with the baby at night to, Mr. Eye Cream. You are a liar.
• "All-day coverage"
  I don't know about you, but my makeup doesn't look fabulous at the end of the day.
• Plumps lips
  Uhhh...unless the tube of lipstick comes with a guy in a white coat and a needle full of something expensive, I doubt it. 
• Longer, fuller lashes
  Maybe I'm crazy, but I've never really been able to notice the difference between most mascaras.

Although I love getting my hopes up that cosmetics will make me look like what I'm not (or what I used to be), I think I might appreciate a little more honesty--like "covers most grays" or "will stay on your face for most of the day unless it's the middle of the summer then forget it"...you get where I'm going.

Sincerely,
Me :)