The misconceptions about working from home

In addition to being a mom of three boys, I am a writer who works from home. When I tell most people that I work from home, they imagine me working and parenting at the same time. I often get comments along the lines of, "It must be so nice to have your kids with you while you work."

I feel like it's time for someone from the work-at-home crowd to explain how it works. I WORK from home which means I have to do my job, uninterrupted. I have phone calls and meetings. I have deadlines and expectations. As a writer, I have to write...which means it has to be quiet...really quiet.

I like to tell people to take a few moments and think about their typical day in the office. Now think about that day if you had your kids with you. It's not a pretty picture and as you can imagine, you would get very little work done--if any. And for the record, because my home is my office, there are times when the home versus work boundaries are blurred and I have to work when the kids are around. You can take my word for it when I tell you that kids become the same noisy, attention-seeking monkeys when you work while they are home that they become when you decide to make a phone call when they are around.

Working from home is no different than working in an office--except for the fact that I wear my pajamas most of the day and never have to worry about someone stealing my lunch out of the fridge. Yes, I save on gas. No, I don't do laundry. Yes, I can watch stuff on my DVR while taking my lunch break. No, I don't wash the floor or make the kids beds while I'm on phone calls, because let's face it, I'll use pretty much any excuse (including working), to get out of those chores anyway.

Wednesday Words To Live By: Everything to Everyone

You can't be everything to everyone.

In the blogging world, it's easy to get caught up on the frenzy of brand contact and PR agencies. There's a lot of cattiness about who gets invited to which events. For me, I blog about what I love and what I'm passionate about. It's not about the perks. Don't get me wrong...the perks can be great, but if I were to blogging for perks, I would be fashion blogger with fabulous clothes.

When I start to feel little crazy from the competition of it all, I repeat, with great zeal I might add, "You can't be everything to everyone" and I have to tell you it has pulled me out of more than a slump or two because I really believe it.

At the ripe old age of 21 (as if I would reveal my real age), I know that I cannot be a shining star for everyone who knows me. I also know that in whatever I do in life, I always strive to be a perfectionist, but realize that I'm going to fall short from time to time. It's ok to not be the best of the best or perfect 100% of the time.

All I can be is the best for me...and for my family...and my readers. That's it.

On Facebook and Legacy

Earlier this week, I found out that a man I went to school with passed away in his sleep. I have known him since we were in first grade and I hadn't seen him since high school. We passively kept in touch via Facebook--liking one another's photos and commenting on posts every once in a while. About a year ago I posted that we were in the midst of a plumbing nightmare and he dropped everything and graciously walked me through the problem via direct messages.

I always really liked this man--even when we were kids. He had a kind heart and fun spirit. I recall him driving our teachers crazy but he was always so likable I often wondered if the teachers were really that mad at the boy with the toothy smile. 

We didn't have classes together in middle school or high school, and didn't run with the same crowd. The last time I remember talking to him, he came in to the high school yearbook classroom and asked us for a favor. We had almost wrapped up the yearbook, and he really wanted a photo of he and his girlfriend published in the yearbook. He loved her so much but since she didn't go to our school, so she wasn't in the book. He had a picture of him hugging her that he was hoping we could slip in somewhere in the book. Normally, we would have said no to such a request, but his words were so heartfelt and sincere, we did it. 

That's the last time I remember talking to him in person but it was an instance that impacted me. His heart was so big and so full that he wanted to embrace his love for this woman in our yearbook. He didn't want the pictures in there to be "noticed"; he just wanted to have a way to memorialize his relationship and feelings at the time.  His request was so sweet, sincere and special--a true reflection of his character.

I found out this man died about a week after the fact, and I've had a few days to digest the information. This is the first person I know of from my graduating class to pass away and it's been kind of hard for me to process. Tonight I went back and read through his Facebook page. I was re-reading his posts, his conversations with others and looking at the photos of his beautiful daughters who will now grow up with out a dad. I wonder how many other people have been reading over his page too--looking for clues that he knew life wasn't forever, affirming the love for his family and showing that warm heart that struck me in the yearbook classroom almost 20 years ago. It's almost surreal to read his words and conversations because they are living on like he is still here.

As I read through his page, I began to reflect on my social media legacy. What would people read on my page if something happened to me? I clicked over to my page to see what was on it and quite frankly, I wasn't impressed. While I don't think I need to necessarily put my entire life into my social media networks, perhaps I should do a little more to show who I am and what makes me tick instead of just publishing pictures and self-depricating anecdotes. Maybe a public medium isn't such a bad place to express my gratitude for others and to note the blessings in my life. An authentic me may just be a little more interesting and a lot more meaningful to the people in my life.

And then I think back to the day in the yearbook room 20 years ago. The man who is no longer with us...all he wanted was his authentic self in the yearbook with a photo showing how in love he was with the girl in the photo. Apparently he knew the importance of being authentic all along.

The trouble with the dog adoption process

Our last photo of Jake.

Last summer, our dog Jake passed away. My husband and I adopted Jake from the Redlands Animal Shelter back before we had kids; he was our first baby and an amazing dog with an old soul. Our neighbors always referred to him as "the gentleman." He was in bad shape when we adopted him--covered in sores from head to toe and so matted that they thought he was a terrier. After a major grooming, we discovered he was a Lhasa Apso who had suffered at least two broken legs that were never tended too.

We adopted Jake knowing that he was an "older" dog whose paper work said he was 6+ years. In doggy adoption language, I'm guessing he was more like 8 or ten years old. It is often difficult for shelters to find homes for older dogs and figured they were a bit "generous" on his age.

In the last year of his life, Jake went down hill fast. He could no longer jump up on the couch so that he could watch for us out the front window. He developed severed doggy dementia and slept most days and nights. It was heartbreaking to put him down; we made and canceled the appointment more times than I can count. We kept holding on for hope that he would improve. He was our companion for ten year. TEN years! When we put him down, the vet was so wonderful and really helped us through the worst moments a pet owner has to endure. He reassured us that if we had not adopted Jake that day, it was pretty unlikely that anyone would have because of his age and the fact that we had him for ten years shows that we are wonderful pet owners.

It's been hard getting over the passing of my beloved pooch, but now that it has been about nine months, I think I may be ready to adopt another dog. I know I can't fill Jake's void, but I do feel that the next dog has some big paws to fill. This time we have three little boys to think about. We know we want another dog like Jake that sheds very little or not at all. I know that with small children, a puppy is not our speed and that we want a dog that is at least 2 years old and has already been housebroken. And of course, the dog has to love kids. These are things that can be tough to find at a shelter and thus we are turning to rescue groups for our search--like those found on Petfinder.com.

Because we adopted our last dog from the shelter, we simply paid the fee and bailed him out. The rescue group route is a whole new ball game for us. I am completely blown away by the processes adopters have to go through. As a life-long dog owner, I feel like I have a lot to offer a dog and that adoption agencies should be beating down MY door! Instead, there's a lengthy application process, home visits, contracts, etc. It's enough to make a gal crazy. I know these folks are passionate about what they do, which I respect and appreciate. Without their hard work, thousands of dogs would be destroyed each year. I also respect the fees they charge and will happily pay up, as I know they have many expenses in rescuing animals.

I do feel, however, it would be great if there was a way for me to fill out a little application online somewhere and tell my doggy story and let the shelters and rescue groups read it and let me know what they have. I'm not being lazy--perhaps just practical. If the rescue groups are so set on finding homes for their dogs, please consider making it a little easier and a little less crazy. Take into consideration who a family is and realize we don't have hours on end to fill out adoption applications. Oh, and when it comes to my kids, they are wonderful with animals. I am mystified by the rescue organizations who refuse to ever adopt out to families with children. How do they ever expect parents to raise the next generation of animal adoption advocates if they won't allow families to adopt?!

I am committed to only adopting animals and would never purchase a puppy, but for heaven's sake, it sure would be nice if there was an easier way to go about it!

They don't make them how they used to!

Remember when washing machines lasted for 10 or 20 years?  They were tanks!  Not anymore.   In 2007 we got a Frigidaire washer and dryer at Universal Appliance.  They are both absolute lemons.  The dryer had a strange groove in the tub that ATE our clothes. I called the people I bought it from to fix it. They charged me an arm and a leg...and didn't fix it.  It ruined more clothes than I can count.  Shortly thereafter, the washing machine stopped spinning. In all, we've sunk about $500 into these machines.

What makes me even more mad is these "disposable appliances fill our landfills each year.  Sad.  What's a family to do? When did it become ok for American brands to crank out such crumby products?

Oh, how I love Pinterst

I love Pinterest. LOVE Pinterest. Really, really LOVE Pinterest. Am I clear on this? Here's why I think it has literally changed my life.

• I am the queen of browsing the web and thinking, "That's cool. I'll bookmark it and come back to it later." Then, when "later" comes around I can either not find the bookmark in my mess of bookmarks or forget I bookmarked it all together. Essentially, Pinterest has made it so I never have to bookmark anything every again!
• 2012 is my year of self improvement. I know, lame, right? Well, it really is and I'm off to a running start...but that's a whole other post. As I push through 2012, one of my personal challenges is to up the way I dress. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't say I've ever been "fashion-challenged." I love clothing and trends. Pinterest, however, exposes me to beautifully coordinated outfits and clothing items I may not have ever considered.
• I also adore decorating my home and Pinterest allows me to not only see what other people are posting when it comes to decor and organization, but I have a place to organize my design dreams.

Pinterest is awesome. If you aren't already on Pinterest, follow me today!

Oh to be so glam...

The other day an old friend of mine told me that she thinks my life is glamorous.  "What?" I said.  "You think my life is glamorous?!"  I was sitting on the sofa, typing on my computer in sweatpants, ugg boots, and the thermal I had worn the day before.  (And let's be clear...they were ugg-style boots bought at Costco.)  It was almost noon and I still hadn't had a shower.  The baby was sleeping and I was anxiously waiting for a repairman to come and restore the spin cycle to my machine.

Most days I feel like a slow moving train, moving through life on the same tracks I traveled on the day before.  There was once a time when I didn't leave the house without "putting my face on" and these days there's days I feel fortunate to find the time to apply the emergency lip gloss and mascara I keep in my car.  And showers?  You know where I'm going with this.  I don't get a shower every day.  Some days its impossible.  In order to make it happen yesterday, I had to confine the baby to his stroller in our bathroom so I could get a quick four-minute rinse in before picking up my son from kindergarten.  You should have seen the look on my husband's face when he went to get ready for bed last night and found a stroller in the middle of the bathroom.

There are days I come home from pushing the 100+ lb. pound cart around Costco and feel like an ox that's been in its yoke all day.  You know what I'm talking about.  You feel like you've used every ounce of energy your body can muster.  I walk in the bathroom and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror--fully expecting the Wicked Witch complete with green skin--and realize that maybe I'm not quite as haggard and worn out as I had imagine in my mind's eye.  I realize that I am, in fact, weathering my days of motherhood and my husband's incredibly long hours much better than I give myself credit for.  And on that day maybe I even actually did my hair or found time for mascara, lip gloss, and a little blush or had a successful meeting with a client or got to visit my husband on the set.  My life isn't glamorous, but maybe it's a little more spectacular than I give it credit for.

Kushies Magazine

Kushies Baby designs, manufactures and markets an innovative collection of quality baby products and accessories.  For more than 50 years, the company high qualities baby and children's products manufactured in Canada.  I love Kushies products and currently have their Bees Knees jeans for Baby C and the My Bag overnight bag.  (I will be reviewing both of these products over on Babes In Disneyland soon.)   

Kushies has introduced for their customers, a great resource and enjoyable read for new parents at www.kushiesmagazine.wordpress.com.  The monthly magazine provides information on nutrition and recipes, parenting, play, new product announcements from Kushies, health, product spotlights and community feedback.  Stop by and check it out!

Life with 3

I love having three kids. Baby C has definitely completed our family.  He rounds us out and brings so much joy and happiness every day.  There's nothing I love more the his smiling face looking up at me from his crib each morning.

My boys are a blessing.  They are sweet and loving and charming and smart and fun.  And with all that being said, I must admit that sometimes having three children is hard.  I mean really hard.  Harder than I ever imagined.  Ever since Baby C came into the picture, I have felt like I've been treading water.  My house is a mess.  A mess.  I forget important dates and events.  It's really tough for me to stay afloat.  Things like mailing a package at the post office or taking the time to find the perfect birthday gift for my husband (or even having the forethought to plan out a special day) feel like they are completely out of my reach.  My head feels like it's racing a million miles a minute all day long.

And there's the pressures of being a mom--scholastic, social, and personal.  A is in kindergarten.  Do I read with him enough?  Should I be overly concerned that he missed two on his addition homework?  B is in preschool and every mom there looks she just walked off the cover of Cookie magazine at the 9a.m. drop off.  Nice, right?  I look more like Shrek at that time.  And then there's sweet Baby C.  I still haven't gotten my sweet angel's Christmas pictures taken!  It's January 10 for goodness sakes!!!

Do you ever feel this way?  I know these times will pass and maybe I'm too hard on myself.  But there's time when it just feels like I can't be the mom and wife I want to be.

A Chance Encounter

It was an encounter that lasted five, maybe ten seconds max.  I was walking through the grocery store.  It was "one of those days."  I had been spit up on and wiped more butts than I would like to count.  I hadn't gotten a shower and now I was wrangling three boys at dinner time through the grocery store to get milk.  Why oh why must they put the milk in the back of the store?!

Like I said, the encounter was maybe ten seconds max but I think it hit us both like a ton of bricks.  She was walking toward me.  She had brown hair to her mid back.  She was think and pretty.  Her make-up looked amazing and she was wearing a fabulous skirt and sweater...maybe from Banana Republic...finished off with a great pair of heals.  She was in her early to mid 20s.  Our eyes met.  I looked at her and thought, "I used to be her!"  Truly.  It was like seeing myself ten years ago.  Confident and pulled together running through the market to grab one last ingredient for dinner after a day at the office, heals clicking on the supermarket floor as the cool lining of my skirt brushed against my fat-free thighs.  I was her.

And as our eyes met, I swear I saw a look of pity and then terror sweep her face.  I think she saw in me that we looked very similar--same build, hair, complexion, height--except for one major thing: I looked like I'd been run through the mill.  The boys were being outrageous.  The baby was whining...on the verge of a meltdown.  I was playing interference trying to make sure Fruit Loops didn't find their way into the cart and breaking up the game of who-can-hit-who-first.  As I read the look on her face she instantly pitied me, as it didn't take a psychology degree to figure out I was at my breaking point.  But then, I swear the look turned to terror...or at least fear.  Fear of becoming me in some crazy parallel universe.  I meekly smiled and she looked away.

I didn't see her again in the market but the brief encounter allowed me to reflect on how life changes without even knowing it.  I used to be that woman in the business clothes and clicking heals and in what feels like the blink of an eye, I am mommy.  And while it would be easy to mourn who I was in my 20s, I'm finding strength in the idea of how I will be reinvented in the next ten years.  Ten years from now, my oldest son will be 15 and I'm sure we will walk through the grocery store at dinner time to pick up the last minute essentials--only without tantrums and pleas for Fruit Loops and who-can-hit-who-first contests.  And I'm sure from time to time we'll run into mommies with little ones who are all haggard from the day's events and unknowing of the baby spit crusted in their hair.  I will see me in them and give them a smile and a nod and a "keep your chin up."

From that brief ten second encounter I have been reminded to embrace my current self, appreciate the past, and look forward to the future.  A lot can change in ten years.  I look forward to seeing where life takes me.

The Great Bed Debate

I'm a comparison shopper to the core.  I research virtually every purchase I make--from shoes to cars and everything in between.  I am not an impulse shopper by any means.  I like to know that I'm getting the most out of my money.  We've recently decided to purchase a new mattress.  We spent more than $1,000 seven years ago on a Spring Air mattress at Sit N Sleep we are currently sleeping on.  It has decompressed on the sides where we sleep and there a "hill" now separating us.  I call it the Great Wall of Pillow Top.

So now that it's time to buy a new mattress, we started out today at Macy's for our first day of trying to find just the right mattress.  Things have changes in the last seven years.  There's memory foam and titanium lumbar supports.  There's visco foam and no flip-mattress mattresses.  My husband is convinced that about 50% of the stuff you hear about the "technology" of the mattresses is mumbo-jumbo and a line of cr@p.  I'm pretty convinced that they no longer make two-sided mattresses so that people have to purchase new mattresses more often.  On top of it all, my hubby is 6ft, 4in tall and I'm only 5ft, 5 in. tall, so needless to say, our needs in a mattress are a bit different.

Most frustrating of all if the fact that none of the stores have the "same" mattresses.  Ok.  Scratch that...they may have the same mattresses, but no two stores call the same mattress by the same name thus making it impossible for consumers to comparison shop and find the best value for their money.  How crazy is that?  Today at Macy's I really liked a Serta and Simmons mattress.  The mattress was great and Macy's said they would match any other stores advertised or documented price...but you can't because no store has the same name mattress!!!  Ugh!

Anyway, I'm not sure how the mattress saga will play out or how I will make myself feel better about not getting taken advantage of.  Any suggestions?

New Year's Resolution

I suppose this wouldn't be a proper blog without a post about my New Year's resolutions.  I make them every year and 2010 was the first time I actually stuck with them and saw (most) of them through.  I worked hard to try and downsize the "stuff" and eat healthier.  I also vowed to be more "in the moment" with my kids.  The eating healthy kick lasted until some time around October or November--the rest of them I worked on throughout the year.  I wasn't always successful in decluttering or living in the moment, but I was always conscious of my need to be at least trying.

2011 is going to be different than last year and the years before that.  I am claiming that 2011 is going to be the year I'm putting on my big girl panties.  That's right.  Big. Girl. Panties.  I seem to spend a lot of time in life worrying about what other people think or feel about me and in the process devaluing my own experiences and feelings.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and barely recognize the woman staring back at me and that's going to change in 2011.  I feel like over the last decade I have lost sight of who I am and what I love and what makes me happy.  This year, I am going to embrace the things I love and care about myself as much as I care about my children and husband and all of the other people I cherish. 

In life, it's so easy to get lost in role of wife and mother.  Sometimes it's just easier to be what everyone wants you to be, to care about what they care about.  This year, I need to refocus a bit on me because if I am a me that I love and I am happy with, I can be a better mother, wife, and friend.  I am going to live in the moment, cherish the people and things I love, lead a healthier lifestyle, and focus on the things that truly make me happy while minimizing the negative things (and people) that bring me down.

I am slowly pulling on my big girl panties, and it feels awesome.  I encourage everyone who reads this to pull on their big girl panties in 2011--make positive changes and take control.  Get in touch with yourself, what you love, and what makes you happy and in the process we can all be better moms, sisters, friends, wives, and daughters.

I was the first Haute Mom...

Ok.  You all know I'm not all that haute, but my friend Kelley over at the blog Haute Mom sure thinks so and made me her first inductee into her Haute Mom's Club.  Thanks, Kelley, for the props and for having such an awesome blog.  Please check out Kelley's blog.  She is a new mom dealing with the ups, downs, and discoveries new moms experience!

Portable North Pole

Last night my mom called to tell me about a cool website a friend told her about.  The site is called Portable North Pole and it is a site that allows you to make a personalized video from Santa for your children...for FREE.  The site allows you to personalize with your child's name, age, pictures, special events from the past year, and more.  It is so incredible.  I just our middle son the video we made for him last night and he flipped.  It was so darling.  Here's a link to our video.  It's shorter because it is for a preschooler.  There are longer video lengths for older children.


http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/ob7q2BLuB4RQ_WXX3g-HQw

It's time to get my craft on!!!

Creating holiday magic for the family has never been easier or more enjoyable!  Disney Online introduces the new “All Things Merry: A Guide to the Holidays,” a comprehensive source for holiday planning with simple and budget-friendly ideas for holiday recipes, unique crafts, homemade gifts and much more!   I especially love Family.com because the recipes, crafts, and the like are created by "real" people, which means someone like me (wink, wink) can make the food and the crafts!

On Family.com guests can find simple and delicious holiday dinner recipes for main course entrees, soups and starters, dressing and sauces and inspirational side dish ideas, such as how to make spectacular spuds with a list of Holiday Potato Recipes. To finish off a holiday meal or party just right, there is a gallery of Perfect Pie Recipes and 20 Tempting Holiday Treats. Or families can make some holiday magic together in the kitchen, by baking up a batch of sweet Snowman Cookies or festive Candy Cane Cookies, featured on FamilyFun.com.

For fun and budget-friendly ideas for holiday crafts and decorations, guests can find simple instructions for homemade Christmas ornaments on FamilyFun.com and decorative Christmas crafts at Kaboose.com. This year, Family.com offers a new series of how-to videos for making adorable Disney-themed holiday crafts, like Mickey Mouse Snowman Cards, and a guide for making other creative Disney Christmas ideas, perfect for Disney fans of all ages! 

Kids can make their own homemade Christmas gifts for loved ones, such as an easy-to-construct yarn candy cane ornament or a cute reindeer hand print. Kids can also have some fun with Christmas coloring pages or online Christmas games.